People.

Misanthropic. Adjective.
Believing the worst of human nature and motives; having a sneering disbelief in e.g. selflessness of others [syn: cynical]

i don't necessarily fall under this category, but i'm a lot closer to it than most people that i know. and that's a good thing. my friends are intelligent, wise and silly, my family is loving and accepting of any new things i undertake, and even the casual acquaintences i have and develop are positive and sincere.

so, why then, should a simple, Gen-X post-slacker have a general mistrust of people? i can't say for sure. i poke fun at the normals. my life really hasn't been difficult, or with obstacles that i cannot move or simply move around. i enjoy life. i breathe deeply when it rains. i grow peppers. i listen to, record, and play music. i watch with scientific detachment as my hair falls out. i can make myself laugh at my own (and others') idiocy. i have a good life. i take moments to stare at the stars, appreciate how rare we must be in the cosmic scheme, and appreciate that i'm alive and have loved ones and friends around me.

i do know that i don't like scrutiny. maybe it's this flavor-filled little touch of paranoia that keeps me from trusting people. tonight i had to turn down a request from the fabulous girlfriend to attend a current pop-culture phenom film with her friends and her son. not because i had anything going on that couldn't be postponed, but because i cannot stand social situations that put me in close proximity to the public at large. the irritation i would have at those around me would far outweigh any joy i would receive from the film, and to a lesser extent, being with those that i love. it's something that's plagued me for most of my life. i did my best to politely decline, and hoped that i could make it up to the crew at a later point. i don't like parties or crowds. loud, obnoxious, emotional geocentrists fill the Hell which i'll probably fry in someday for my thought crimes and religious heresy. i can't tolerate knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers who shlep through their life without giving any thought to who and where they are, and so i avoid them.

the concept of the precious gift of being alive (i won't address god's church here, maybe i'll offend you, dear reader, on this subject later) seems to be wasted on the vast majority of people, at least in the red state in which i live. this makes my brow furrow and my teeth grind. idiots who go through their lives without having a sense of community, without skimming the topic of being part of the whole, and finally and most importantly, view themselves as the exact and literal center of the universe seem to be keeping me from socially interacting more than i have. i've always been this way.

with this little insight, i'll leave you, dear reader, to ponder my psychic backlash with a short blurb on heliocentrism.

Day 8 of 19

...at work. our little station works with three full-time technical directors, and when one of them is out, the other two take up the slack. this is done (this time) joyfully, as my good friend, the Damn Hippie, is in Europe, spending time with his family and seeing the sights for a few weeks.

so, i'm at work. again. and again. i need to keep reminding myself that all of this overtime is ...worth the removal of my life. hell, who am i to bitch? others have it much, much worse; even inside the confines of this very building. it's okay. i'm just tired.

my fabulous girlfriend is hosting a family of unschoolers over the next day or two, and at the same time, one of her very, very favorite artists is moving through the area while on tour. the family is from minnesota, where their children are instructed by interacting with the world around them. it's beautiful and awe-inspiring to witness the joy these children and their parents have in their lives. they are entirely intertwined, the parents and the children. it's a polar difference between the masses who send their children off to grade school and beyond, and leave the impressions and instructions their children absorb to a callous and cold institution.

the fabulous girlfriend raises her 8 year old son in the same fashion. his needs determine his learning. this was a strange new world for me, but i can't see the boy through any other lens at this point. the life that the boy and his mother are spending together is absolutely amazing to view, and for me, to play a small role in. magnifcent.

It's yer Birthday!

"and many happy returns to you, my sweet, on this, the occasion of the Anniversary of your Birthday ! " ...is what i would have said to my entirely fabulous girlfriend if i had a chance to be with her today. Stupid work. Don't get me wrong, i really love my interesting job, but less so on sundays, and even less so on my Girlfriend's birthday.

I haven't introduced her to you yet, dear reader. but show patience, i shall divulge as the need arises. know that she's impossibly patient, incredibly apt and armed with a razor-sharp intellect. and, she's the prototypical smokin'-hot redhead. ...and, for some absurd reason, she's taken with me, with all my neuroses, sketchy behaviour, and smelly socks. the girl starts the fire.

she doesn't read this blog, as i've just started it mostly for myself, and haven't given away it's location to any of my friends or family yet. only you, dear reader, know of its' existance. so, i can't be accused of mining for affection from her. not outwardly, anyway.

love is grand. missing your love's birthday isn't. good thing for me she celebrates for a week. that should give me the time and space necessary to properly present her with her ...present.

another in a series of moments

my parents drove in from out of state yesterday to visit my grandparents, shuttle grandkids (not mine, not yet!) and to meet their son's interesting and mysterious new girlfriend and her son. this is always a moment of some stress, is it not? will they have anything in common other than knowledge of their son?

they came bearing gifts and loud, happy, excited children. the fabulous girlfriend's boy, who i am absolutely in love with, tolerated the invasion of his space quite well, and sent my nephew, age 9, with a gift that truly imparts: a simpson's video game. such joy!

the amish baked goods are exquisite. the opportunity to sit with my parents and show them picture proof of my recent excursion to europe was wonderful. dinner at the local chinese restaurant with children oooing and aaahing over the huge koi fish in their huge tank was wonderful. the fabulous girlfriend and my old man trading dirty jokes? priceless.

Both Hands, Both Feet

It's apparent that i enjoy reading about the lives of others, given the amount of time that i devote daily to perusing the blogs of said others. with that said, I'll jump into the mass exposure foray, with both hands and both feet. While i'm usually quite private, i'll divulge necessary exposition and backstory when it's called for. Enjoy, if you will, the ongoing story of a small-town over-thinker.

I live in a small city in the Midwest. In this small city, i have numerous roles that i fulfill; the usual Family / Hobby / Job combo being foremost. I have a loving and adorable new family, an old hobby which continually brings me much joy, and a very interesting new job. I'll keep you, dear reader, informed on these aspects, as they shall provide the main fodder for this online journal, and other thoughts about life, love, religion, idiots, thinkers, heroes, and villians.

welcome, dear reader, to a virtual celebration of the sacred and the mundane.