Jazzfest Week, and the Great Westward Expansion

My sacred, and highly coveted quiet-and-alone time has steadily decreased. It's surprising, but, i find myself missing it much less than i imagined i would. For now, it's okay and good. This last weekend, i braved the masses, and entered the fray of our summertime free outdoor concert, Jazzfest. armed with an unending supply of bottled water, fifty-pound bags of ice, a golfcart and a supersoaker, i moved amongst the volunteers, paramedics and cops, keeping them hydrated.

it wasn't as hot as in previous years (this is the third year I've worked as the "water cowboy" for the event), and i actually found myself addressing strangers, saying things like "hi! thirsty?" and "greetings! have some cold water!" ...who am i becoming?

i left the event as soon as i was able, as i was deep in thought all afternoon, the result of an incredibly rewarding and soul-baring conversation with D. i simply needed to get back to her as soon as possible, to maybe reinforce what we had discussed. after a quick food-crisis for the Beautiful Boy was solved, i spent the rest of the evening with both of them.

we're at the beginning stages of planning a move. not just any move, but a wholly life-changing move, fifteen hundred miles or more away from my friends, my family, my music, and my life, here, as it is. so, there's a growing amount of anxiety at the horizon, and mostly of my own making. a lot of it is directly concerned with cold reality checks: how will we get our stuff there? will we be able to find affordable and acceptable housing? will a job in a nearby city be there, waiting for me? what will we leave behind? how much of my music gear should come with us, and what is destined for Ebay? how can we afford all of this, when it's difficult to simply make it by month to month? these are mostly technical logistics, easily solved if one applies oneself to the issues, one by one.

but where to begin? i'm finding myself easily overloaded when considering these technical logistics. we have a small, fuel-efficient car. this solves the transport of ourselves to our new home, and afterwards, the daily-commute to the small-market city south of our destination. there's four television stations there that i can easily pimp my skills at. another issue solved. transport and job/income. i can finish my mostly-finished degree at OSU's IT school. i have a beautiful family, who own a large transport van. if worse came to worst, we could bribe them to drive our stuff out, with us. when we dropped the 'moving' bomb on them, they expressed sincere interest and excitement.

as i write this, i can see that each issue has a solution, when each issue is compartmentalized. maybe it's simply the entirety, with all of the details wrapped into one confusing ball, which is overwhelming.

so, that's been the week. love is reaffirmed, daily. volunteering is good, and interaction won't actually kill me. planning for the future is logical (even when one doesn't think it is). i can still find quiet time. money doesn't care if i worry about it. i'm fat, happy, and growing less concerned with what "could" go wrong, every day.

sheesh. the old me would have kicked my ass by now.