The Peaceful Parterships discussion group

thank you, whoever you people are. how exactly do you come up with the daily amazingness you have, and share? it doesn't matter. i'm happy you're here. and i'm happy that i'm probably not entirely insane, as measured by typical standards.

little snippits of raw, undiluted wisdom follow, guerilla clipped without permission from random conversations. if you please, don't read anything into this, dear reader. disclaimer: while my communication *read: active listening* skills ain't been so great lately, and our relationship (like every relationship, i imagine, at least all of mine have) has valleys and peaks, there are tools like this to help me. and don't take anything personally. this is merely something i read that makes me feel good, when i see people working through the issues that occur in their daily lives. this is good karma, in the infinite sense. helping others.


"All I know is that I could come up with plenty of reasons to be dissatisfied with my husband. He's not perfect after all! What it comes down to is whether I want to be with him or not. And I do, so I no longer argue with reality and ask/expect him to be the person I want him to be. And amazingly, without all the negative thoughts controlling my brain, I am finding that he already is exactly who I want him to be--himself. The man I fell in love with."

"I realize we RU parents/partners have a choice. We can share the tools that make up unschooling with our partners as we have with our children, or we can withhold them until our partner does what we want him/her to do to *satisfy* us. A good start can be asking our partner what would satisfy him/her? Then listening to the answer -- lovingly, patiently. Is it really fair to expect them to hear us and comply, if we're not willing to do the same?"

"This is where I used to get stuck. Until quite recently, I believed the thoughts in my head that told me that my husband's behavior was responsible for my happiness. I am finding now that I am responsible for my own happiness and that it isn't as hard as I feared it would be to find it."

"Being genuine with our partners is difficult sometimes. But I am not surethat hiding our feelings or thoughts is an effective way to a peacefulpartnership. You don't have to make a big speech, but letting her know what your passions are and where your heart is on matters is a core aspect oftrust. You seem to not be feeling as if you can trust her response becauseof the tension happening between you. However, when we are not honest withour partners, that sets up a wedge. The wedge ruins the ability for the relationship to flow."

"When my dh and I "discuss" issues, it often takes him several seconds (seems like minutes in the moment) to formulate a response. I on the other hand KNOW what I'm going to say, immediately. In the past i would read this disconnect, or rather difference in response method, as hurtful. Like his mind had wandered during our discussion, or the issue wasn't important to him. The reality is HE needs his time to get his response together so that he says EXACTLY what he wants to say."

what the hell! are these people super-geniuses?
whoever they are, they blow my mind. thanks to you, whoever you are.